Friday 19 April, 2019

Game of Thrones in Review, Trini-style: Episode 1

With Gerard Llanos

 

April is here! No winter in Trinbago, folks. After a 637-day wait, the climatic final season of the TV adaptation of the Song of Fire and Ice is here.

Episode one of the season was everything we have come to love about GOT. Humour, gratuitous nudity, intrigue, politics, wisdom, and violence. Real flawed characters that we can’t help but love or loathe. Whether you’re a GOT super fan or you’ve been living under a rock, this roundup should get you prepped for the action by the water cooler. I take no responsibility for the spoilers herein contained your grace. 

 

B***h please!
Good versus evil, living versus dead, Sansa versus Daenerys! It seems that even in the frigid North, two bo-rat can’t live in one hole. The cut eye Sansa hit Daenerys could have killed a dragon. Lyanna Mormont isn’t keen on the mother of dragons either. Got to love shordie spirit, she speaks her mind. Jon Snow choosing to bend the knee is not going down well with the subjects of the North.
 

Cersei ah fraud
"...If you want a whore buy one..." blah blah blah. Five minutes later......social media femdom let out a collective shudder as the repugnant Euron Greyjoy slithered past the Mountain and into the royal bedroom.

I'm always happy when Bron gets some action. Cersei’s man of business interrupts a fairly lacklustre foursome to inform Bron that the boss has put out a poetic hit on her brothers.

Bron is getting paid a cartload of gold to swing for his former allies Jamie and Tyrion Lannister. With the bow that killed her father Tywin. Say what you want about the ice queen, her revenge is stylish. Cersei has landed her fancy foreign used army, minus the elephants, and is ready to be devious.


Go get em Theon!
Theon Greyjoy has taken a lot of L's over the past few seasons. Tortured by Ramsey, losing his manhood and generally being a wuss.  It felt great to see him lead the rescue of his badass sister Asha Yara. Welcome back, kid!
 

The big reveal
Sometimes bad karma takes a shortcut back. Like when Daenerys executed the Tarlys against Tyrion’s advice, only to face and unexpectedly have to explain her actions to Sam Tarly, the Maestar that saved Jorah Mormont from herpes or whatever that was.

This sets the stage for Sam to tearfully reveal the truth about Jon Snow. That he isn’t really the king of the north but the rightful king of the WHOLEEEE seven kingdoms. He is the Son of Rhaegar Targaryen which makes Daenerys his AUNT.

This makes the politics of the seven kingdoms even more complicated than it was before. And with question marks beginning to arise over the virtue of the increasingly bloodthirsty and power-hungry mother of dragons, one can only wonder if when the truth is revealed, will she bend the knee to her lover and nephew?


Who wore it better?

The look on Bran Stark’s face when Jamie Lannister rides into Winterfell is internet gold. If you remember, Bran lost his mobility when he stumbled upon Cersei and Jamie making sweet incestuous love in season one and was thrown off a cliff for his trouble. How will the three-eyed raven settle the score?

The dead are still coming, an undead dragon is still on the loose, there isn’t enough food to go around, Cersei’s mercs are on the board,  Deanery’s dragons are hungry and it is COLD! We literally can’t wait to see what happens next. Take in the episode again and tell us who you think is going to win the Game of Thrones. 

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