Sunday 25 October, 2020

Go down or get out: women claim equality in the bedroom

Dancehall singer Ishawna

Dancehall singer Ishawna

In her latest song, Shape of You (Equal Rights), dancehall singer Ishawna makes it clear that she is a woman who enjoys oral sex.

In fact, she states in no uncertain terms, the kind of attention she enjoys from her men.

“Mi love it when the man dem brave up, cause nuff man have them good tongue a save up. MHmm that mi like when you eat mi right,” she sings on the track.

The song has been a hit with the females but one male dancehall star, Bounty Killer, has taken offence, declaring that he will not perform at any venues Ishawna is booked to appear on the same cast with him.

At the Bikini Fish Floss show last weekend in Portland, Jamaica, Bounty, appearing on stage after Ishawna said any man who performs oral sex is a crackhead.

It is no secret that in Jamaica, cunnilingus is frowned upon, publicly at least.

One Jamaican man told Loop that the machismo culture is to blame.

“Every man want to be able to go to the dance and 'buss' a blank in the air to anti- bow songs,” he said.

He recalled that in high school when he and his group of friends discovered that one of their classmates engaged in oral sex, everyone had a glass at their home with the boy’s name written on him so as not to risk his mouth touching anything they drank from.

In his songs, Bounty Killer has sung against the practice.

In "Badman Nuh Boy" he sings that badman doh bow cause that is not their policy.

He is not the only one.

Shabba Ranks sang about it in "Dem Bow" and in a direct response to Ishawna Kiprich sings “I doh care what you tell me, I not put you inna my plate.”

But Ishawna has had some support. In a Facebook Live video, Ninjaman defended the song, blaming male artists for being hypocrites by singing about what they want women to do to them but being upset when the tables are turned.

Alkaline also supported the artist in a song urging her to buss files and name the men who love oral sex.

Shelly-Ann Weeks, a sexologist in Jamaica known popularly as Dr Sexy Ann, labels the controversy as hypocrisy.

“When it comes to sex there are two different Jamaica, the Jamaica in public, the self-righteous and I only do it in the marital bed, under the covers with the light on and then there is the private Jamaica that has access to the Internet, and are trying things and that is the one everyone knows about but nobody wants to talk about,” she said

“In my capacity as a sexologist I see a lot of couples who eating long time it is just not kosher to talk about it, she said, labelling it as the misogyny of Jamaican culture where men can sing about all the things they want to do to women.

“Now Ishawna is not the first female artist to talk about it. Cecile and Tanya Stephens sang about it but Ishawna is very relevant, one of biggest current acts of dancehall saying this thing, one of those things you are not to talk about. I have heard about cases where men threaten the woman with a gun and say doh tell anyone about it but not only are the men eating but they are doing so willingly and enjoying it,” she said.

She said in Jamaican culture bowing means to give in so if you are bowing you are not standing up and that is showing signs of weakness.

She advised men, however, that if they enjoy oral sex and pleasing a woman then do it.

Meanwhile, in Trinidad and Tobago, where dancehall dominates the airwaves outside of Carnival Ishawna’s song has support from both sexes.

The majority of women polled on the T&T’s Women’s Forum Facebook page said they would not reciprocate if their men refuse to pleasure them as well.

“I give as much as I get, so if he's not bowing neither am I. These things go both ways, doh want me to go down and b friendly and u playing bashful at all. I saying no to yuh face,” said one woman.

“ If I have to get on my knees for you? You better get on your knees for me,” said another.

The men were equally supportive on another thread, making it clear that position was a Jamaican thing.

“Why would you want to shortchange your woman, and yourself? Get in there and learn - she will be very happy, and so will you. Sex is communication. It's sharing. Two-way street,’ advised one man.

Some said they don’t mind but presentation mattered.

And for those women wondering if any willing men they meet might be any good at it, one man said the way a man eats a starch mango is a good sign. 

“The skin delicate, the meat sweet and the seed small. If they could handle a container of starch mango while being stared at without becoming self-conscious and sucking the seeds dry, they good to go.”

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